I made the decision to leave facebook, almost.
At first it was a rash decision to leave it entirely.
Why? I spent more time there reading through 84+ "friends" worth of twitter-like updates or vague-baiting to find stuff that really interested me.
I also got the feeling that many of my 84+ "friends" really didn't care to read, or care for what I had to say.
Combine those two lists and skim the cream off (the cream being good in this metaphor) and I ended up with the facebook friends who comment on my posts and whose posts I enjoy reading and commenting on myself. Most of those 12 were the ones who actually weighed in my my facebook comment announcing my pending decision to leave facebook entirely. Those that didn't comment I can only assume cared less and will now not be burdened by my posts as I am no longer burdened by theirs.
Others suffered the cut only because they are non-entities on facebook. My brother and his wife both were cut, but they have a almost non-existent facebook presence. However, I converse with them on another social media tool that some people seem to forget even exists: email. My college roommate, who was cut, is a notorious non-emailer and was just as aloof in the realm of facebook. His wife, another college friend, IS an emailer and facebooker so she made the 12.
I have only had one request come in from a previous facebook friend. He was bummed to have been "defaced" but prior to contact on facebook I never heard from him (nor he from me...the case with most facebook friends) and all his updates consisted of pertained to the TV shows he was watching. Not terribly insightful reading for someone (me) who doesn't watch very much television.
So while it may seem rash or a bit harsh, it has made facebook a more pleasurable experience for me and wastes much less time trying to get to the reading I really would like to be doing. Facebook, or anything that is honestly just entertainment, should be fun, and it wasn't.
My response would be that facebook is not somewhere I'd air my deepest thoughts. As TV is a pretty benign superficial medium to talk about, then that's what many of my comments consisted of...However, there were some significant comments made about my life that were probably missed just like I missed your query to remain on your list. But to demonstrate my sincerity, I will go beyond the easy and quick stalking of facebook and follow you into your preferred medium.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the desire to not want to share too much on fb. This is another reason I felt I needed to trim back. When you make a comment on one person's post, if they have "anyone" or "friends of friends" turned on, they all those people have to drudge through comments of people that they do not know. I commented a many times on your updates about taking tests, cutting into bodies, moving, etc, but I think they were buried in the onslaught of well-wishes and intercessory prayers; easy to be missed.
ReplyDeleteYou don’t need to take being cut to heart. You were one among 70+ that were cut so it is no way a slight against you. Yes, I may have used you as an example in this blog posting, but you were not alone in the behavior I was addressing. People I have been neighbors with or have known personally (heck, even current co-workers who I SPEAK with daily) and my brother and college roommate were cut.
Please don’t feel the need to keep up with me here. If you are already buried in the management of fb, as I felt I was, then I don’t want to impose upon you any sense of guilt to follow me here. FB does seem like a good medium to stay connected to many people with a small amount of effort, but it quickly fell away from being pleasurable to painful. I am already enjoying this exchange more than I did trying to sift through 84 people, plus friends of friends comments, on a regular basis to avoid the scary “there are 320 updates to your news feed” message if I skipped a whole day of checking.
Thanks for the reply. Please don't feel uniquely slighted.
One of the things Ive learned is that friends are hard to come by, and at this point, I'd prefer not to let them go. I regret that I let ours lapse and was quasi-letting facebook help me keep up on your current events. At first I took the defacing to heart, but you have sufficiently explained your impersonal trimming so no offense taken. There's no guilt involved, just renewed enthusiasm. It's prompted me to be more direct with you in communication because I don't want to lose what little connection I already had. So take the previous comment as an explanation not an anger filled response. So I look forward to your blogs. I personally am not a blogger - my preferred communication is talking - but I like to read so works for me.
ReplyDeleteSigned not uniquely slighted interested friend.
I like that. Your rsponse makes me feel good.
ReplyDeleteSend me an email I don't have yours.
-Steve
Right after your FB cull I looked at how much time I wasted there and quit entirely. I'm glad people like it, more power to them, but for me it was just a big time-sink.
ReplyDelete